Installment 2

Returned missionaries are NOT perfect. -Bishop Vance

When a computer wants to say he loves you, the correct wording would be: !>3(_). My computer told me this a couple of nights ago when we were at the bar. It was pretty crazy. He got so drunk, then he just started dancing. And he screamed in computer language at the top of his dot matrix lungs. I think someone dropped computer-E into his drink. But he was reeaaal happy. -Brandon

I've got MAJOR problems when I shave! -David

1. He's shy and needs safety points. -Bryce

Tara! Get some pants on! -Anonymous Tara-Friend

Except mine . . . he was crazy! -Stephano

This is Utah; you even have to break up creatively. -Dan

I wouldn't want to marry someone I wouldn't recognize in the morning. -Miles

OH YEAH! It turns me on!! -Kristine

Dont' let your rear end get exposed! -Erin

I think we should stop studying AJ's anatomy. -Emily

The phone is NOT a deceiver! -Claire

Hey Weirdo! -Apt. 13 greeting

You know it's good when you come up with it while you're spitting out toothpaste. -Claire

I ate all my life. -Tara

I'm like an exposed hoochie!!! -Jocelyn

And all I need to do is show her how shallow I really am then she'll have no surprises. -Anonymous Male

Sit down so I can jump you! -David

I want the jeep! Forget the guy! -Liz

Your issues are revealed when you start to suck others' . . . blood. -Claire

You just trade 'em in every ten thousand miles? -Sally

No . . . she deserves a better man. -"Cake"

He's Swedish. He doesn't have to make sense. -Claire

If you want to build a good relationship, you can't start doing the nasty stuff. -AJ

If I don't get married in this life I hope Captain Moromi is still available. -Sheri Dew

He can fornicate all he wants!!! -Liz

It's like spooning . . . -Tara
Sometimes, I fork! -Claire
I like to ka-niffee!! -Tara

I ate mine off. -Claire

He doesn't want your food, he wants my food. -Kristine

It's tough to be mature when your world is constantly ending. -Chris

Next time, just don't be all over the bonds like that. -Kristine the Scientist

I love to DRINK! -Jacob

Y'know, one day you say you want to take it slow and the same day you *LAPE them!!! -Tara
*lip rape

You haven't even tried me yet! -Brandon

Even if Haiti IS hell, I still not let her come! -Colin, in reference to Sally

Where else are you going to get $8.00 romance? -Heather

I am the Queen of Buns! -Tara

I can't BS fast in Russian! -Liz

If the toilet lasts until tomorrow, I'll be shocked. As it is, I could frame it and hang it on my wall. -Kristine

You can also eat cashews if you haven't brushed your teeth yet. -Sally

I was in the grocery store, thinking about Richard Simmons, and it hit me! -Sally

I'm gonna Freedom your Boulevard! -Tara